Dumb Criminals

At work this weekend, I was working. While working at work, I noticed a box of bananas was missing. My first thought was that someone must have loaded it. moments later a guy walking from his home ask if we sell del monte bananas. I said yes we do. He then tells me there is a whole box of them in front of his yard. I walk to his home, pick up the box and walk back.

Why the fuck would someone want the steal a whole box of bananas? Are they that desperate or something? That was a very stupid of choice of the item to steal. Firstly it's the box is 40lbs, and the dumb ass had no car. So he was walking up a gentle incline, he got to about a half a block, realizing that this shit is heavy, he then ditched it. ( I assume that it is a he because I don't think a women would be dumb enough to steal that shit, also because walking with that shit is heavy, and the fence that he through it over is just above six (illegal height for a residential fence but I would say anything) you have to be pretty strong). The dude didn't even that a single bunch. All that work for nothing.

Even if he took the whole box what would he gain? At cost that box is $18.50. That is probably the heaviest 18.50 he tried to steal. He would be better off if that 18.50 was in 5 cent Mexican pesos coins. If he were to sell it on the street for profit, I think he could do at most 20 cents a pound (really would you want to buy bananas from some guy off the street?). Simple computation tells us that 40 times .20 equals 8 dollars, eight fucking dollars. I am laughing at this dumbass.

Secondly how long do you think thoughts bananas would last? The bananas at your house, probably one week at most. These bananas had a ripe code of 5, which means yellow with a green tip. Some like to eat bananas at this point, (firm, some flavor) but I like to wait. These bananas would fully ripen in one day if out on your counter. But in this industry there are rules about bananas.

The more bananas together the quicker they ripen. This is because the gas one banana produces (ethylene gas) when ripening, affects other surrounding bananas accelerating their ripening and thus producing more ethylene gas to accelerate everyone's acceleration.

The bananas are packed in plastic sheets. These sheets are like bags, but have two cuts top and bottom. Inside the box the sheet act like a cover keeping the gas the bananas produce from escaping. While is another agent of ripening acceleration.

I can conclude from this information and experience that whole 40lb box of bananas would have black spots (leopard, is the actual term used in this industry) by two days. Lessening the street value of the bananas to around compost to free.

Smart things to steal would be, not food.